High school senior Ashley St. Helens
has suddenly found herself living a fairy tale life....
Which is not as much fun as it sounds.
Until... the other shoe drops.

Sunday, September 30, 2012

A Beautiful Unicorn

I quickly folded the smooth parts of the girdle over the scorched parts, and opened the laundry room door just as Sylvia reached the bottom of the stairs. “Oh,” I said, feigning surprise. “I was just going to bring you this.” She was dressed up to go out, wearing a very low-cut Chanel blouse, in a pattern that reminded me of the time I threw up French fries and a chocolate milkshake on my dad’s plaid flannel shirt when I was six. “Thank you, dear,” she purred, handing me her shiny Prada bag to hold, and then as she pulled the girdle on under her...

Sunday, September 23, 2012

A Capital 'L'

From: FTR <info@fairytalereality.com> To: crankingitout@gmail.com Date: Wednesday, 13 April 2011 09:23:43 Subject: Re: The Big Bitch Squeeee!!! I love it, Michael! We have our first song! This is a revolutionary Cinderella... when has the mythical ash-girl ever been allowed to express feelings of frustration? She's always been such a dainty and goodhearted thing. Here's proof you can be dainty and goodhearted and still be human. Good on Harry. K ------------- Now, I know what you’re thinking: No foot in the kingdom could fit...

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Vintage Silk Taffeta

From: FTR <info@fairytalereality.com> To: crankingitout@gmail.comCc:Date: Monday, 11 April 2011 09:32:19Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Ashley Hey M ~ Are you devouring this? Are you hearing this? What a great story teller. I guess it must be true what they say, that “suffering builds character.” She’s got character! I’ve got a really funny, maybe kind of bad idea for the song in progress...K---------------------------- I finally confessed to Harry my darkest thoughts from my darkest hours, when I’d go to bed exhausted, fingering the...

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Bitch is a Verb

“Girlfriend, NO. Get INTO it! You’ve got a right to your feelings.” I leaned my head against the fogged-up window, focusing on the cold spot on my forehead, and struggled with this idea. No one had ever said that to me before. Inside, my well-folded stacks of emotions were suddenly feeling like piles of dirty laundry. “Ashley, give it a try. It doesn’t have to be a big deal. Take two minutes, by the clock. Just get it out, don’t keep it inside! Go ahead and bitch your heart out.” I laughed out loud. “Harry! I’m not that kind of girl!” Harry...

Sunday, September 2, 2012

Harry Godmother

I picked up the phone and said hello really quietly, assuming it would be some giggly friend of The Girls, but was surprised to hear a somewhat familiar-sounding voice on the other end: deep, rich, and male. “Oh, my God,” the voice said. “Is this my Ashley Ellen?” The call was for me. “This is Ashley,” I said cautiously. No one had called me by my full name since—well, since Dad died. “Who’s calling?” “It’s me, Harry.” “Harry?” “Your Uncle Harry. You know, Harry, your Godfather.” Now, a bell was ringing. One...